4.The Truth

Why do I consider it a waste? I was of course told the truth about him. Mr Hope he was named and it appeared, at least so my dear Miss Fellow presumed, that he had been long engaged to Miss Modesty. How perfect the facts then seemed to me! Though I could not help feeling that a great injustice had been done to me; but there were plenty of reasons to be proud of myself, for I had interfered and put an end to his cheap play. That was the night when Miss Fellow found out my thoughts; I revealed them knowing that undoubtedly my heart would take another course and would never look upon Mr Hope with the same eyes as before.

I was obviously wrong in supposing that, for his eyes still haunted me even after being so serious and confident. Astonishing!

Well, yes, love had never been common in my case, if I may call it love.

Returning to Mr Hope, I started watching his conduct closely. How dreadful and annoying he acted when Miss Modesty was around! No word was being spoken between the two, and his eyes rather glanced upon me - yes, another flaw of mine.

Whenever I catch someone in my heart's web, and trap him inside, I continue unaffected, completely confident in my powers. Not knowing, in fact, that the person does not stand my face. But still I imagine that his eyes are in search of me. This flaw, I know, should be harmful; but it's rather harmless - I suppose my imagination is so extensive that, although I can clearly make the difference between fantasy and reality, it can be very strong when needed. This was the case, I'm afraid; Mr Hope would not let me rest for a second. His questions were simple, yet they troubled me with finding the best, the most appropriate answers. His manners were indifferent, yet I imagined they were shy; he was indeed uninterested in finding the key to my story, yet I considered him eager to know.

Well, why would he act so indifferent when Miss Modesty was around? His love wasn't real, I believed back then. And the true hope appeared in front of me. I wish it didn't!

And then I thought, very happy to possess a single ray of hope:

"Well, no effort shall be spared to turn him away from her; my powers are not gone, and I'll make him see that."

And so I continued to walk all around the room, at times stopping to glance at the window, and then returning; my thoughts were succeeded messily and after a while I could not distinguish any conclusion. But my aim was as simple as blinking. I should invite Mr Hope to tea one day, and clear his mind of all Miss Modesty that is in there. Alas, I set off that afternoon, in search of him; but no one had seen Mr Hope, and I was so sure that he was at Miss Modesty's! But I denied it, and my willingness in the end led me to Miss Fellow's door.

"Miss Gloom, how glad I am to see you!", she said as her face was being enlightened, "do come inside!"

I walked by her side along the corridor and there was no doubt that my coming was rather a bad thing for her. Yet she would not show it, of course.

"Come, do be seated," she then said; but then she hurried away, leaving me alone in that greatly furnished sitting-room. Then I saw her bringing some of the tea-things, a servant following her with the rest.

"Excuse me for leaving you," she started, as I was looking at her; she was laying the table herself! Why was she doing that, I wondered, but the answer came exceedingly easily. "My best servant is truly sick, and so I must partly do the job, but that shouldn't bother you, should it?"

Then I was at last asked why I came there. There was a little battle held inside me, as to whether tell her or not, but the latter option seemed evidently better.

"I was just looking for a friendly face, you know," I uttered, watching her pour the tea and receiving then the cup. "I do not get many visitors; but you must know that. I have been so lonely these days!"

"You can always come here, if you wish, Miss Gloom; do tell me, have you seen Miss Modesty recently?"

"Yes, a couple of days ago, but I guess you were there too." Then looking back at that day, I assured her, "yes, well, you brought me there!"

"Did I? Oh, yes, I wanted to show you Mr Hope's park; but I do not really know why I was there, since Miss Modesty was the only invited. You know why, of course. But why should it matter if there are three young ladies instead of one only?"

For this I liked Miss Fellow, always very talkative, with a wide range of knowledge, from winter clothing to marriages in the county. I could always get something from her - but nothing was of the same importance all of the time. And yes, I could escape loneliness and still sink in my thoughts whenever she talked.

"And another gentleman has been seen lately; no one knows him, except of course Miss Modesty. She knows everything she could know!", she continued, not noticing that I, suddenly, felt an interest for this stranger and my figure brightened. "But why she should not tell me about him, I can't understand."

"In this case you must gather information, and immediately! Have you seen him?"

"Yes, once; but only from the back. But Miss Modesty should give you further details. But where is she?!"

"We should call on her, shouldn't we?"