I kindly accepted his sudden leaving as an urgency; how was I about to know that he had promised Miss Modesty to call on her? Still, this was not revealed to me at that point. Of course, I would find it soon after that.
I eventually continued my walk and ended it when reaching home. It appeared that someone had come to see me and had insisted on remaining until I came home. Who could it be, who could it be... yes, Miss Hatred.
"Miss Hatred, how surprising it is that you should come!"
Her smile disappeared as she revealed the true reason for her coming.
"Spare me the trouble of listening, dear; I haven't come to hear pleasantries. Tell me, and make it sincerely, you do not like me, do you?"
"Like her? Huh, let me see!", I thought.
"Why," I calmly began, "why do you ask this? Is there anything that can keep me away from liking you?"
She thought upon her words for a moment and then looked away, saying, "Yes, there is yourself that keeps you away from liking me!"
"I beg your pardon; why - truly, really! - why do you think that I should like you?! Just because your luck let you fool Miss Fellow -"
"It is not my luck that let me win Miss Fellow's empathy, it is rather her good-sense than my being lucky!"
"Miss Hatred, I do not know where this is leading."
"I do not like you, Miss Gloom. I simply do not!", and after saying this she turned and left the house.
"She doesn't like me, how come that I could neglect that! Who does she think she is? I cannot just like her, just like that; all of a sudden, it stays not in my ways."
While focusing on that kind of thoughts, I was brought a strange note; it apparently was from Mr Hope and he essentially let me know that he would not dine that evening at home, but in other places. "Great", I told myself.
And so I continued my existence, with little to bother myself, still less to do, and I hardly touched anything but my books.
But one day, while searching for a novel to reread, (yes, reread), I found the old paper - though not that old - on which I had written my main inquiry about the world. Yes, that paper; the one that had introduced me to Mr Hope that faithful day. Still not that faithful, rather fateful, for it changed me more than a little.
I grabbed a pencil and angrily wrote: "Apparently none."
But the following day, Miss Modesty came in to tell me that a picnic was taking place at her estate and that I should come too, for no party was complete without me. Great words, dear! Very inspiring words, indeed. How could I not accept it when I knew that Mr Hope was to come?! So I put on my white dress, that brilliantly white dress that had struck him when we had first met and prepared my words and smiles, so that I could please everyone present.
Not that anyone truly liked me; I was known for my intelectual superiority and quickness in thought, and that was too much for any of them to bear. So I was just renowned for what I could think and nothing more. No one could ever love me in that state, for I scared everyone with my mind. (Not that I disliked it!)
There I found an enormous group of people, and counting them would have been frankly useless. But I found who I was looking for; Mr Hope sat by Miss Fellow's side and was speaking about the choice of music a ball had had (which of course I had not been invited at), and their reaction at seeing me was distinct. Miss Fellow jumped out of her seat and grabbed my hands and exclaimed how perfect it was that I was there as well, and dear Mr Hope looked away, only scarcely mumbling, "Miss Gloom."
"Miss Fellow," I said loudly enough so he could hear me, "I apologize for having left in so hurried a manner that day, but you know my ways, you cannot be surprised; I have a very changing temper."
"Yes, I understand that, and I could not but notice that you did not like Miss Hatred that well. But this is forgiven, let us turn to Mr Hope now. Mr Hope, aren't you delighted to see Miss Gloom here?"
"Rather surprised," he said nodding.
His answers were always short and vague. I was left silent by his insensitive, peculiar words every time I heard them. But this time, well, I was filled with courage and replied, looking straight into his eyes, piercing them for several moments, "Why should you be surprised? You do not know me that well so as to be surprised by any change I suffer; and you could have said at least that it was a great pleasure to meet me again, and perhaps excuse yourself, sir, for having left me that day alone in the streets, with no explanation given!"
His eyes widened as his lips moved without making any sound, and then, finally, he answered: "I was needed at Miss Modesty's."
I said no more and turned away. I felt his eyes watching me as I went farther and farther, but when I turned my eyes, pretending to lift my train a little, I observed that he had left his seat and was wandering around, his back at me.
"Dear God, how will this end?!"
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