My Intimate Friend, Oh My Dearest

How I have longed to run into a soul

Whom I could tell everything I had to tell

How it should seem my only goal

Was all I could remember well.

Yes, I weeped and cried and held

On to one that should come to me and say

But my own sense and I dwelled

Upon something that should've never obeyed.

Yet there's none, but I think I'm blessed

To imagine my own world, in which I sink

Each time I may confront distress

Of which it is hard for others to think.

I expelled my close relations

That I left into desperate wonder

So I could keep running my creations

And let others watch us under.

But for my own safety I endured silence

And so many more seconds of solitude

Now, I see that its own prevalence

Has reached the highest magnitude.

They Thought Wrong... And Still They're Thinking

And as I lay my thoughts and each rhyme

In this world, thus to combine

I sense and am sure that by the next moment,

I'll feel a change in this entertainment.

Had it been the same as my old writing,

It would have been not as challenging

As this new form that I call true understanding

But I am still not that far from fighting.

Hitherto I had been missing my own choice

For their better hearing, and not my voice

Can I put together a heart and a mind

To not make myself again blind?

I can imagine how wrong it feels to do

Anything that's not on their way

But I quite neglect that, too;

As I now wake from this cold play.

A play, it truly is, for I'm a character

And they're part of the scene, in my opinion

I walk from them as quick as I can

And still they catch me before I go, over again.

Had it been as my old writing, I would have said

I'm disappointed; but now my plan

Is to go the right way, but I do no longer justice to my words

For it does not stay in my way

To say

That I am not to be believed and listened to

And I finish this long line by saying, it is no longer called the right side

Or the odd way, as it was someday;

'Cause now it is called rightfulness

And, by some, awful distress.

Elizabeth

A weeping lady before a gloomy mirror

Sits and hardens her soul with terror

For her price is too big to pay

And says "I have mistaken you in every way."

The reflection is pale and cold

And as the expression cannot unfold

A smile, her eyes soon laugh tears

And carry rivers, and still no one hears.

"Well, then, what have I done for this?

My soul looks at this face of an eclipse

And there's the patient silence I provoke

As my eyes in these tears soak."

Yet she doubts not that a mistake like hers

Is what climbs higher and reaches first

People's hearts; and yet, because of her courage

This movement can cause no damage.

For their life is limited and it may not grow.

For time is too short, but this we all know.

She dared to deny some man's proposal

As she did not love him; so she spoke her refusal.

But she's now pointed out as a woman of misery

For they still live in the nineteenth century.

Yet she did it at her own expence

She did not want anybody to be offenced

But they all soon followed the guess

That she is not to be trusted; and nothing less.

But how could she accept the matter

When she had her life before her?

Was it not appropriate to tell him

That it wasn't how it seemed?

Mr Darcy was odious and full of pride

And he did not even try to hide

Still he was the one whom she had thought

Unworthy of her affection. But he was not.

This letter that he's written to her

Has made the final move, and she surrendered

The words she said were not what she wanted them to be

"...But they reached his heart, and now I see!"

There, in her chamber, she quietly recovers from her sorrow

And she's soon convinced that by tomorrow,

Everyone will forget the chance she had, but did not let

Take the form of marriage, for she's Lizzy Bennet.

Inspired from Jane Austen's 'Pride and Prejudice'.

My Faith

The faith should hide behind the fear

But mine is not at least near

To that rightful state of cowardice

And I should have implied in this

A sudden want to change all these

But have I lost my faith? No, I have not

And I can actually say that I fought.

My faith was not driven away

By your insensitive turn of way

From that love of loving nothing

To your love of never stopping.

You thought I'd began thus dropping

But where am I? There, in pieces?

No, my faith still appeases

All that would make me fear, I feared

But not for long, for still I'm here.

Gone... Underneath

I said I would, I managed to form

An idea of what I could perform

And when I reached the point of no return

I dropped it and left it undone.

For now it is too late to matter

And my words cannot yet shatter

And I cannot recall, at least

When this world became a beast.

For now I stand below my place

-But I lie. It is not so late

To climb this wall, for now I wait

-I lie again. I have long begun.

For now I climb higher and I last

And hopefully will remain before the past

I end this pretty strangely

For I say the truth that powers me.