6.Morning Walk

I could not be spared of his friendship; this thought was not even perceptible by my mind. I could not stand it. Not at all, if I'm honest! But Mr Hope's friendship was rather a second wish of mine. Just like a gift that one receives from a person that calls on them, it is rather the visit that causes a greater joy to the host; speaking of hosts, however, I hadn't hosted a tea party in quite some time, so I set off one morning towards Miss Fellow. Miss Fellow, pleasantries and joyful, cordial conversations! This defined her to me, though I knew that her comforting words were not showing a great deal of her. I knew that it was more to her than an amiable companion, I knew that I could eventually sit by the fire with her and talk about my troubles. Yet I did not seem to notice this fact.

As I was saying, my morning walk had one purpose, and that of making sure that Miss Fellow would accompany me in the afternoon. Just as I was wondering which path to take so as to make it to her house, I heard a well-known, not that wished for voice; whose it was, I was then sure.

"Mr Hope, how agreeable that we meet again! So early, too."

His face was not expressing anything, at least anything of a joy for seeing me again. "Miss, um, Gloom, is it? Miss Gloom, I am terrifyingly sorry that I haven't contacted you since our last meeting," and then, as he approached and joined me in my walk, "I am indeed sorry."

"You need not apologise; there has been no mistake done. Pray, Mr Hope, tell me, is it an urgent need to walk at this time of the day in such lonely places, or is it your strange wish that you should have a private word with me?"

"No - yes; I'd rather ask you whereto you are now heading."

"You did not answer my inquiry, sir; I demand an answer to it," I said placing a smile onto my face.

He stayed silent for some time, then looking away (he was of course hoping that I would imagine he was too tormented to answer it; I knew he was not that tormented in my presence; it was simply impossible!) he added, "You demand a reply, you say; there is none, I'm afraid."

I looked at him in despair; he did not know what he was looking for?! How awkward, how strange and, if I may say so, outrageous that he shouldn't give to a young lady an answer so important to her!

I mumbled, "How could you?!" and went forward more rapidly. I had hoped that he would let me go, yet he joined me in my hurried stepping and added, "How I could leave you alone, you ask? How I could not see you for so long a time? Tell me, Miss Gloom -"

At this point I was fancying that he would take m by my arm and gaze deeply into my eyes; guess what, dear reader - he was looking away from me. Gentlemen aren't so nice, I assure you!

"How could you not wonder what I had been doing?"

My thoughts were heading to one direction: 'But I did wonder at your absence, sir! You were the only reality swimming in my mind; how could you not notice this?! But you have been away for so long, of course..."

Yet my reply was most sincere and then I didn't know its effect: "I did not ask myself where you were and what you were doing. Sir, your acquaintance has been too vague for me to bother myself about you."

He finally turned his eyes to look at me. I pretended that he cared about me so much as to be moved by this cold reply. However, he couldn't care less. If I had known it at that time, I would have spared myself from lots and lots of trouble.

But who said that things were fair? I did someday. But I denied it soon after.

"Miss Gloom, excuse me for letting our acquaintance be vague. My favourite colour is dark green, I love walking in the afternoon and I usually have dinner around seven o'clock. May I ask what your habits are?"

"I am sorry, how is the knowledge of your favourite colour and time to dine going to help me with improving our acquaintance?"

"It would be useful if you agreed to come this evening to dinner, Miss Gloom."

I stared in amazement. Moving my lips as if I wanted to utter something and could not, and frowning while staring at him, I considered this answer an invitation. But I had to make sure of it; or perhaps only to lengthen the conversation.

"Should I take this as an invitation, sir?"

Waiting for a positive answer, I was struck by his reply:

"Only if you wish so."

And then he at last departed, only after saying as a conclusion, "Our ways will meet again, Miss!"