Future II

I have never been more unaware as far as my future is concerned. I know where the path I recently started leads, and I know how it ends; but this ending I refer to is followed by a much clearer beginning, which, I think, is not clear at all.

Yes, I know where I want to be and I am trying my best to fulfil this dream.

Those dreams, apparently, I beg to be excused for this fault. My dream is one and only, yet it contains several that I can't even name properly. There is my 'High-School Dream' that frankly I'd rather throw away; high-school is strange and I don't consider it a big step at all, thinking it's just a hard challenge. Therefore there is not much to tell about it, its results are but very clearly drawn in my head. A very intelligent young lady I picture myself by the end of this 'dream' that however has a real side as well. This real side I know that is different from what I fancy, but I can't help myself from dreaming, that's the explanation I should give.

I am a dreamer, I dream night and day and even see my dreams before my eyes.

Imagination, creativity and a little impossibility of fulfilment are stuck in my head and stuff my mind with these dreams that I can't really handle, though I state very proudly at times that I am able to.

I sense his presence when his existence isn't even assured. I hope to be able to live like this in the future, though I am convinced that it won't work whatsoever.

But something I know well; perhaps I know it because of my resigning temper, that I always find better in worse.

When my unknowing heart screams, tears stream onto my face, and then my heart knows something better and brighter, shinier and softer: that what I knew before was only the bad part of the thing. Yay, I'm so happy after that and I find myself in a comforting state of floating.

I found out one day this. The joy a dream causes me equals the joy I feel when the real thing happens. However, my feelings harden at times and it's a lot more difficult to break them apart in that situation.

But let us hope for the best, shall we?