My Memories, so crushed

The past, that once was my present,
And this present, that then was emerging
You, never present even, nor ever existing,
You, come and gone, so quickly dismissed.

This rapid change of nothing, this silence I was left
This gift from no one, which I heartily accept -
This scary mind, which I can't control
The hope of nothing, the hope for all.

You, a vanished part of me now
These hidden portraits, which I here bestow
Your face, my light, but now it's dark
As I materialise you with this remark...

Accept my excuse, my humble sorrow
Nothing reasons me while hollow -
As I keep away from their real world,
As I wonder if your heart's become cold.

I can't remember, I'm sorry for it
You are now grey, but then my eyes were lit
What can I say, no and yes,
Is it more... is it less...?
Should I ask myself if you had been true,
Never doubt me
Never have I,
But how could I not,
I am sorry.
...I never meant to forget you.